Research: Real stories about death from loved ones


Can's mom has liver cancer. When a close childhood friend died from the same cancer, he didn't want his mom to know because she was still going through chemo therapy. Knowing that Can's childhood friend recently died from the same cancer she has would strongly impact her.

His childhood friend had been close with his family. But his mom and dad had split up, and his mom didn't have any contact with his childhood friend's family. So Can tried his best to keep it from her.

But one day he got a call from his mom crying on the phone, asking him why he hadn't told her. She was heartbroken not having been told. Can asked her how she found out. She told him she had seen posts with condolences to the family of Can's childhood friend.

Facebook can be great for connecting people and sharing information. But what if that you want to keep something a secret? Or that information would hurt someone?


When a friend of Anoushka died in a car accident back in India, she was in Copenhagen. She received a direct message from a common friend about her friends death. After that she saw all the condolence posts on Facebook. Her timeline was full of them. She was very thankful for learning about her friends passing, not in a Facebook post, but in a private message from a friend.


Haz's grandfather died during the second world war. Her family didn't really know much about him. Haz's grandmother was a propper English lady and never really spoke about him, other than saying that he was very different from Haz's father. She clearly loved him very much.

Haz's grandmother died before she could plan and organise any of her affairs. After her passing they found a suitcase full of love letters between Haz's grandmother and grandfather. Looking through the letters, her family suddenly learned a lot more about Haz's grandfather. It illuminated this person they never knew anything about.

But thinking about it, Haz wonders what her grandmother would have done if she had more time to organise before she died. Would she have kept the letters secret, as she had done her whole life? Is there some secrets that you want to keep when you die?

Phase 1Jens ObelResearch